“Once I Find My Purpose, Everything Will Fall Into Place” is a Myth.

Most people think that one day they’ll wake up with a lightning-bolt revelation: “This is it! This is my purpose!” From that moment on, life will feel clear and motivating, the next steps obvious.

It’s a beautiful idea, and a trap that quietly feeds burnout.

I know because I chased that “aha” myself. And I’ve watched client after client wait for clarity as if it were an external event; something that would land on them when they were finally ready. Instead of peace, they found exhaustion. Instead of purpose, they found more second-guessing.

Here’s the truth that I’ve found — purpose isn’t something you find in one dramatic moment. Instead, it’s something you create by showing up, listening to your body, and taking small, values-aligned steps even when you can’t see the whole path.

Let’s break down the five biggest reasons this myth keeps us stuck, and the evidence that proves it wrong.

1. Your Nervous System Can’t Find Purpose in Survival Mode

My story started as a child. And in high school, I knew that I would work for child protective services. That was my purpose and why I went through what I did; met who I met; etc.

Nope, that wasn’t my purpose. After searching for my purpose through various jobs, I landed a position at a hospital that later merged with one of the major healthcare systems in Connecticut. My job on paper looked fine: reliable paycheck, clear career path. But every day I felt a slow tightening in my chest. I smiled, got the work done, paid the bills, but inside I felt like I’d lost myself. My nervous system was in survival mode.

Nope, that wasn’t my purpose either…

Here’s what the science says: When stress hormones like cortisol flood your body, your prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that plans and envisions the future — goes offline. The stress response literally narrows your field of vision to the next immediate threat.

That’s why, in burnout, even the question “What’s my purpose?” feels impossible. Your body is wired to think only about getting through today. Every day I was forcing something and it didn’t feel right or good.

Before you can hear your own direction, you have to downshift your nervous system through grounding practices, breathwork, yoga nidra, or even simply stepping outside and noticing the feel of air on your skin.

Purpose isn’t waiting for you “out there” — it emerges naturally once your body feels safe enough to imagine tomorrow.

2. Purpose Is Built Through Action, Not Waiting

After leaving the hospital, I didn’t suddenly “know” that private practice and later coaching were my destiny. I took a small risk: seeing one or two clients in the evenings while I worked my hospital job.

That one small yes led to the next. With each step, my practice — and my clarity — grew.

I started out in private practice seeing everyone, taking insurance, doing it all. Over time, I realized my heart was with first responders, medical professionals, and others who face pain every day. That meant stepping away from insurance panels, which wasn’t easy.

Then came another layer of clarity: I can’t help everyone in therapy. That’s what led me to branch into coaching, creating new ways to support people. It’s been one choice after another, each one shaping the work I get to do today.

Research in motivation backs this up. Psychologists call it self-determination theory: clarity and intrinsic motivation come from doing, experimenting, and noticing what lights you up — not from sitting still until the perfect answer arrives.

Waiting for a single “aha” moment keeps you stuck in analysis paralysis. Purpose reveals itself in motion.

3. “Perfect Alignment” Is a Moving Target

Purpose is not a single job title or role.

I once believed my purpose was child protective services work. Eight months later I was certain I’d failed — until I realized that experience was a stepping stone. From there I moved through in-home therapy, substance-abuse work, psychiatric hospitals, private practice, and now coaching.

Every pivot clarified my purpose: helping people heal from trauma and burnout. But the form has shifted again and again.

Life seasons change — family, health, perimenopause, even the cultural needs of the moment. Purpose evolves. If you cling to one fixed definition, you’ll feel lost every time life moves.

Instead of searching for a static job description, ask: What values keep calling me? For me, it’s always been about helping people move from survival into freedom.

4. Your Body Often Knows Before Your Mind

When I discovered Human Design, I learned I’m a Generator with Sacral Authority — designed to respond from the gut with an instant yes or no. I was skeptical at first, but it gave language to something I had felt all along.

Science agrees. The gut-brain axis, connected through the vagus nerve, communicates with your brain faster than conscious thought. Roughly 95% of serotonin is produced in the gut, which is why we often “feel” decisions before we can explain them.

That full-body “yes” you feel before the pros and cons list? That’s your nervous system recognizing patterns your conscious brain hasn’t caught yet.

But if you’re anxious or burned out, your gut signals can get scrambled. Fear can masquerade as intuition. Which is why step one is always restoring nervous system safety.

5. Energy Fuels Clarity

Purpose work is embodied. When you neglect your body, your mind can’t think clearly.

I see over and over when clients start building functional, playful strength — through Pilates, yoga, even dance — the mental fog lifts. Blood flow improves, endorphins rise, and the prefrontal cortex regains the bandwidth for long-term visioning.

This isn’t about punishing workouts; it’s about movement that energizes rather than depletes. When you restore energy, clarity follows.

These five truths form the backbone of how I help clients reclaim purpose:

Restore: downshift the nervous system so the mind can dream again.
Energize: use movement and strength to create the mental space for insight.
Vision: take small, aligned actions that let clarity emerge naturally.

Purpose isn’t a single job, a lightning bolt, or a perfectly crafted five-year plan. It’s the practice of aligning your energy, listening to your gut, and letting your next right step reveal itself.

Your Turn: Moving From Myth to Movement

If you’ve been waiting for the perfect sign, consider this your nudge:

• Start with one nervous system reset today — a slow walk, three deep breaths, five minutes of grounding.

• Take one small aligned action this week, even if you’re not sure it’s “the big thing.”

• Notice where your body gives you an authentic yes — expansive, light, energizing — and follow that thread.

Purpose unfolds in a series of small, brave steps.

Why Coaching Accelerates Clarity

Could you do this alone? Yes. But most of us don’t.

Burnout is sneaky. It keeps you in survival mode, second-guessing every move. Coaching creates a container where your nervous system can settle, your energy can rebuild, and your next steps become clear. It’s not about giving you answers; it’s about helping you hear your own.

The myth says: “When I finally discover my purpose, everything will fall into place.”
The truth is: Purpose is built, not found.

It starts when you restore your nervous system, energize your body, and allow vision to unfold one yes at a time.

If you’re ready to stop waiting and start creating your purpose — without burning out in the process — this is the work we can do together. My 1:1 coaching is designed to help you downshift, realign, and move toward the life that already wants you.

Your next right step isn’t hidden; it’s waiting for you to take it.

And Other Next Steps If You’re Not Ready For 1:1 Coaching

My book Anxiety Unraveled: Your Journey Toward Answers and Freedom is available in paperback and eBook. It’s your step-by-step guide to understanding why anxiety and burnout keep coming back and how to finally create lasting relief. For ebook, Check it out here. In paperback, it’s available on Amazon.

I created the free 5-Minute Nervous System Reset to help you interrupt burnout patterns and tune back into your body’s yes and no. Grab it here and give yourself the space to start aligning today.

Or try one of these other offerings:

1:1 Burnout Recovery Sessions — Personalized coaching and therapy support for anxiety, burnout, and trauma, grounded in somatic healing, yoga, and IFS wisdom (There is no clinical content).

Burnout Reset Circles — Monthly small-group experiences (online and in-person) to help you regulate your nervous system, reconnect with your truth, and gently reset.

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome & Burnout Facebook group - Join my Facebook group, where you’re seen, you won’t be judged, and your exhaustion is met with support.